Great relationships develop from honest questions and answers. Are you too embarrassed to answer your kids questions? This is why I let my boys ask me anything.
Why I let my boys ask me anything.
In today’s technology driven society answers are literally at our fingertips. One question to Siri and we are introduced to a wealth of information. A few words clicked on a keyboard or iPad and your kid can Google anything they want. Images, videos or words come streaming through the computer screen at lightning speed and we need to be there to decipher it.
Is all the information correct? Probably not!
Is the information explained the way a loving Mother or Father would go about it ? Absolutely not!
Information correct, or not is everywhere. A lot of times our children are finding a post or page of misleading or misinformation I thinking of it as truth. I know of a kid that believes every YouTube video he watches, he thinks that its all the truth and his parents aren’t correcting it.
What questions are my kids asking? Here are a few..
- Why is he or she not my best friend anymore?
- What does (insert bad word here) mean?
- Why did God make yellow jackets?
- What does it mean to have a girlfriend?
- Why can’t I have Snapchat and what’s so bad about it anyway?
- I heard one of the guys talking about (insert any sexual reference here) in the bathroom, what does it mean?
- Where do babies come from and how do the get out of tummies?
Am I prepared for every question they ask me?
My kids know they can come to me with any question. I’m not always ready to answer everything, but if they are old enough to ask they need an answer.
Now, my answers vary depending on their age. I’m not going to inform my 4 year old of the workings of how a baby gets into a Mother’s tummy, but I will give him a short answer with out making them feel ashamed to ask again. That’s what you need to work toward. Sometimes as parents it hits us off guard when a kid comes up with off the wall questions. They ask because they are honestly curious and look to you for answers.
What if I’m embarrassed to answer my kids questions?
Believe me, I have been here! The good news is that as they saying goes, “it will be fine.” Here are a few embarrassing examples.
When your telling your son or daughter what their “body parts” are called. Try to spit that out with out feeling funny in the beginning.
Or if your on the Toy isle at the packed local Walmart 2 days before Christmas and your son asks you why that man over there is so funny looking, OUT LOUD… Let me crawl under a rock now!
Or if your at Goodwill and your child hears someone speaking another language and tries to talk gibberish to them. Gibberish not being their actual language, and trying to not offend the person while telling your kid to cut it out and why.
Let’s just say I have had my fair share of red faced, wanting to crawl under a clothes rack, under the table, or just hide in my home and never come out days. Deep breaths! It will be fine (this is still my mantra.. it will be fine).
Your kids will know through all of this that they can come to you with all of their questions, or concerns and that’s Great!
What if they are ashamed to ask me questions?
The earlier you start answering questions the better. If you child wants to know why they sky is blue answer them. Build the relationship early on in your child’s life and the question and answer session will come easier.
If your child is older and your just starting this, take it slow, gain the trust, and answer honestly. This may take a while but that’s just fine, relationships take time.
The “in trouble factor.” This is a big deal when it comes to asking and telling something that a kid has saw, heard, or done. Take your time, listen to what they are willing to tell you. Make them feel comfortable. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t consequences, take each day, hour and minute as they come. Keep in mind your child is a child and we should all have grace.
What if you don’t know the answer?
It’s ok for your kids to know the secret! The secret being that the adults may know a lot but we don’t know everything.
Be honest! If you don’t know tell them and look it up together or by yourself, explain the answer to them later. Again you can find anything on Google, but as adults, we know how to look for better sources then children do.
I have been asked so many questions and the majority I had to think about or get back to kids, because lets be honest.. kids are so smart! Kids ask things that I would never think of as a big person and that’s why I love them!
How much should I tell my child?
This is a tricky one. Only you know your child best not me, not the neighbor down the street, not the daycare lady. You as their parent know how much to tell them, what they can handle, and what they really need to know.
I’m honest with my kids, but if both of my boys come separately and ask me where babies come from I’m not going to tell my 4 yr old as much as my 12 yr old. The younger one just doesn’t need to know as much. Consider their age, maturity and YOU decide for your child!
So in conclusion.
Give yourself grace, give your kids grace just as Jesus has given you. Take a deep breath, because “It will be fine.” Kids do forget and may ask the same questions several times over the years and that’s fine. Above all be honest, you know your kids the best, you will know what to tell them when they ask. You’re a GREAT MOM!
These are all my opinions and mine alone. You may agree or disagree and that’s just fine! We all have different things that work for our family. 🙂